Being the Man God Called You To Be

This blog is really only for men. Ladies, you are welcome to read it I suppose, but you are not the intended audience…

Fourteen years ago today, I said the words, “I do.” Looking back, I can assure you that I had no idea what I was committing to, but she did. When she said, “I Tammie take you Jamey to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; as long as we both shall live,” she meant every word. She understood the cost and welcomed the sacrifice. She knew that her identity would be forever changed, and yet she still said, “I do.” I guess someone could argue that she couldn’t possibly have grasped the depth of her vow or realized its cost, but I would simply state that actions speak louder than words, and hers are a testament of steadfast love and faithfulness. She was, and still is, my bride.

Scripture describes Christ as the bridegroom, and the Church as His bride. The idea is that the engagement has taken place, and one day in the not-so-distant future, Christ will return for the wedding, and then we, the body, will enjoy eternity with Him. As I think about the analogy of the marriage of the Lamb to our earthly marriages. I often wonder what went wrong. When and where did Christian men decide it was ok to be passive, disregarding all responsibility, living as cowards, and regarding their married life as nothing more than a prison sentence to be served? Of course I recognize the long-lasting effects of sin that started with our first Earthly father, Adam, but what about the example of the second Adam, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and was made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” So again, I’m left wondering what went wrong. If we are to be like Christ who sacrificed everything, how is it that so many Christian men simply lay down on the job as it were, or worse, just walk out?

At my church, SSBC in Abilene, the Men’s Ministry challenges and equips men to be the servant leaders God created them to be at home, in the church and to the world. So in light of that, I’d like to throw out a challenge of my own… In Ephesians 5:25-28, the Spirit of God, through the Apostle Paul, calls husbands to stand up and reclaim the title Men of God. He says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.” So, in the words of the infamous Nike slogan here’s my challenge: “Just Do It.” Our Men’s Ministry mantra, if you will, goes something like this: Reject passivity, accept your responsibility, lead courageously and expects God’s greater reward. That’s it, that’s the challenge – be who you’ve been called to be. And just so we’re clear, my name is the first one on the list. I’m in and you have my permission to hold me to it. Let’s DO THIS!

Heavenly Father, guide me and assist me in following your lead of self-sacrificing service. Help me to demonstrate my love to my greatest earthly love, my wife, by laying down my life daily for her. Not dying for her, but daily living a life of service, putting her needs before my own in every way. God help me not to assume that taking care of our four children when I’m home is automatically her responsibility, even if I’m sleep-deprived and exhausted from ministry, studying, and writing papers. Grant me the energy to be the first to proactively do the dishes, fold the laundry, take out the trash, change the diaper, feed the baby, go pick up the crying child, fight my urge to sleep when she wants to open up and share with me all about her day, especially when that happens to be 5 minutes after we crawl into bed around 11:30pm. Father, enable me to lead by example, continually being a servant. Don’t let a day go by that I’m not reminded of my responsibilities as a husband and a father to protect my family and lead them to your throne… Strange, that I think of these things as sacrifice. Jesus was beaten and whipped, His flesh was ripped from His body, a crown of thorns smashed upon His brow, hands and feet nailed to a cross, all on account of me. Forgive me Father and thank you for your grace. May I be ever diligent in these tasks and may I do them with joy as I daily rejoice in what You have done for me. Thank you again for my beloved wife, our son and three little girls whom you’ve graciously entrusted to us for a while.